How MomFriends Make or Break your #Momlife

Momfriend: A friend you make with the common bond of both being moms

The term “momfriend” didn’t enter my vocabulary until I had my first baby. Before that, I just had “friends” or “girlfriends.” Fast forward four years and my “momfriends” are just my friends, because the only friends I have left are moms (with the exception of a few).

“A good momfriend is a lifeline when you’re drowning in a sea of crying babies, unfolded laundry and cranky husbands.”

It wasn’t until I became a mom that I realized the crazy bond momfriends have. I literally feel like I could not live without my momfriends even though I know I technically could, but it would really, really suck. Because mommin’ ain’t easy.

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A good momfriend is a lifeline when you’re drowning in a sea of crying babies, unfolded laundry and cranky husbands. A good momfriend is there for you to vent to whenever you need it and it’s judgment free; sometimes it’s via text, sometimes it’s a phone call, sometimes it’s over Snapchat with a funny filter. If you need her, she’s there. A good momfriend is down for a night out and sometimes it’s at a moment’s notice because you’re losing your sh*t and need a break. A good momfriend loves your child almost like they are an extension of their own kin – they treat them with genuine care and understanding. At a BBQ with a bunch of people and your kid trips and hurts himself/herself? A good momfriend swoops in and plays the mom role if you’re not around. Did your child accomplish something? A good momfriend is genuinely proud and excited for him/her – and there’s zero passive aggressive comments made about how their child did it earlier and is so advanced, blah blah blah because a good momfriend would feel sick if she knew she made you feel anything other than happy and proud of your child. Is your child struggling at something? A good momfriend finds the silver lining and helps you to see it in a more positive light. She encourages, supports and loves and you give all of that right back to her. Making a medical decision for your child? A good momfriend never ever criticizes it because she knows those types of decisions can only be made by the mother/father. She tells you to trust your mom gut – and she definitely does not send you links from .org websites to argue her point that what you’re doing is harmful to your child.

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You know what’s sad? Finding good momfriends like this isn’t easy. If you’re new to this mom life, don’t be discouraged! You’ll find your mom tribe, but you may have to weed out the not so great momfriends, or learn to tune out their garbage. But once you find even just one true and genuine momfriend, the amount of enrichment you’ll get from that relationship is immeasurable. Yes, husbands and family are super important too; not trying to belittle those relationships. I just want to spotlight the female bond of motherhood because is unlike anything you’ll ever experience. So let’s all strive to be the very best momfriends to each other: whether you work outside the home or inside the home. Whether you’re “just a mom” (that phrase irks me) or your child spends their weekdays at daycare. Let’s do less of the snarky/passive aggressive comments. Let’s do less Facebook posts of articles that say our way of mothering is the better way. Whether you get an epidural, have a home birth, elective c-section, breast-feed, pump and bottle feed, formula feed or a combination of both, let’s all be good momfriends and give nothing but support, love and encouragement. If moms were all besties, we’d take over the world. So let’s make that our goal, shall we? 😉

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How Momfriends can make or break your #momlife - tips on how to be a good Momfriend

A little House of Mitchells update

img_5842.jpgWe are officially Arden Park residents! After selling our Roseville house and then living with Ryan’s mom for 2.5 weeks, we pulled the trigger and moved into our fixer upper home in our dream neighborhood about three weeks ago — I seriously cannot even believe it’s already been that long.

We had originally planned on doing major renovations prior to move-in, but plans changed for various reasons:

  1. Living with Ryan’s mom proved to be less comfortable than we had originally envisioned; if we are going glamp, may as well do it in our own house
  2. We were naïve thinking we could find a contractor and get the projects rolling at light speed – everything is taking way longer than we thought it would
  3. When we really thought about it, we knew we could make the house livable by having all the carpet removed (exposing the original 1950’s hardwood, which is in very good condition) and having the entire interior and exterior painted
  4. Waiting on construction will enable us to move-in with my parents, who will finally be in their new house (in Arden Park) – Added bonus is that we will have an entire wing of the house all to ourselves.

A little about our new hood…

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For outsiders, sometimes it can be confusing about what the exact bounds of Arden Park consist of so here’s a clarification: Sacramento’s Arden Way, Fair Oaks Boulevard, Eastern, and Watt avenues bind the neighborhood.

Arden Park reminds me of something from the past in the very best ways – or at least something that’s not typical in California. I’ve had probably 10 neighbors stop by to say hello/bring treats, as well as multiple neighbors on the NextDoor app send me a greeting. If you enter Arden Park in the mid-morning or dusk, you’ll find gobs of people walking their dogs, kids riding bikes, families walking their babies/kids and they will all likely smile and greet you. I’d say probably 85% of the homes in Arden Park have a front patio where people actually spend some time and everyone proudly flies the American flag. The culture here is friendly, extremely neighborly and there are parks and kids activities galore within easy walking distance. It’s common to see people cruising the neighborhood in their golf carts or beach cruiser and if you don’t feel like going to one of the parks, there are a handful of quality restaurants and bars nearby. Oh, and the large trees will keep your kiddos nice and shaded during your journey, which is one of those perks that come with buying into an older, well established neighborhood. We are stoked to be here.

On the flipside, it’s kind of unsetting moving into a house when you know the entire kitchen/bath needs to be gutted and you desperately need an add-on. Homes in Arden Park cost more per square foot because the location/neighborhood is so desirable – you pay more money for less house and they were all built in the 1950’s. If you’re looking for newish large tan stucco house, don’t look in Arden Park lol. The homes here are all about the mid-century charm.

It does suck that we can’t fully unpack our things because we would only have to repack them for construction. I’m not complaining – it just is what it is. We knew what we were getting ourselves into (for the most part) when we put our house on the market.

The good news is that Porter and Preston seem to have settled in quite well. We have an awesome “water thing” we call it (this) from Target and the kids have been having a blast having such a big yard to play in. We live a stone’s throw away from some of our best and oldest friends – and more keep trailing in! I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere, but there’s a major pattern of people who went to my high school where we all leave the area, but once we start popping out kids we all move back to our little Arden bubble.

Despite the chaos that is moving/renovating, I truly believe in my heart that this is where we are meant to be. We prayed for guidance throughout this whole process and feel we were lead to be here.

Now we wait for the next phase – finalizing construction plans and temporarily moving in with my parents. Once it’s all said and done, I’ll be sure to post some entertaining before and after photos haha.

Cheers,

Bethany