Message to the Judgmental Natural Birth Moms

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Note: This is an old blog post I found in my drafts. I edited it a little bit since my writing style has changed, but my feelings on this topic are the same.

Dear random judgmental mom at the grocery store,

On a casual shopping trip to Trader Joes, you successfully ruined my day. I’m sure you didn’t mean to, but you did. My 10-month-old Porter was sitting in the shopping cart eating samples, happy as a clam. Just prior to bumping into you, a kind stranger told me that he looks like Prince George. We’d gotten this before; Porter is fair skinned with chunky cheeks and he’s a big boy, – he’s been in the 90’s on the charts his entire life, with the exception of his 100 percentile head.

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So there I was, drooling over the cheese section as per usual and you pulled up next to me. You had a son in your cart too — the boys began to cutely interact.

Random Mom: “How old is your son?”

Me: “He’s 10 months. How old is yours?” I asked with a smile. (I’m careful not to have my #restingbitchface when talking to strangers)

Random Mom: “He’s 15 months. I know he’s small.” (for reference, he looked substantially smaller than Porter)

Me: “Awww he’s so cute.”

Random Mom: “Your guy is big but I bet you weren’t able to give birth naturally without any drugs like I was!”

Me: “No actually I ended up with an emergency c-section and it was a really horrible experience.”

Random Mom: Shuts up.

I walked away as quickly as possible.

I bet you weren’t able to give birth naturally without any drugs like I was!”

I realize this lady said this because she’s clearly insecure about the size of her child, but this is not an isolated experience. Through social media and even other face-to-face interactions, I’ve encountered numerous mothers who judge c-sections. What’s crazy to me is that if I hadn’t had one, I would have risked Porter’s life. He wouldn’t budge after two hours of pushing (you can read my full birth story here), so when his heart rate dropped and the doctor said they needed to get the baby out, I said OK because obviously I wanted my baby to be born safely and alive and I’m not the one with the MD after my name and neither does your doula.

“I bet you weren’t able to give birth naturally without any drugs like I was!”

Who honestly says that to a complete stranger or any mother for that matter? Do you want to get punched in the face? Or maybe you want me to tell you how amazing you are that you gave birth to your smaller than average baby without any drugs? That’s not how this works. I honor ALL mothers no matter how their babies come out because we all sacrificed ourselves on some level to make a human, and we all have our own stories to tell.

My opinion of anyone who brags about anything, let alone how they had their baby, is that they are immature. A woman of wisdom understands that being humble earns more admiration. If you want me to think you’re awesome, don’t tell me how awesome you are.

“I gave birth naturally” in my head equates to “I made the choice to give birth as though it was the olden days so I could feel like I’m better and judge other mothers who used drugs or had surgery.”

This is less relevant to the point of this rant, but I personally think pretending we live hundreds of years ago is kind of stupid. So although you think it will impress me, I literally think you’re kind of a weirdo. But I would never say that to your face because we are all different, and that’s ok.

I thank God I was born when I was, with modern medicine saving lives on the daily. I plan on embracing modern medicine for the rest of my life.

And to the natural birth moms who judge my c-section: If you ever have to have a limb amputated, I challenge you to do that “naturally” too. Let’s just pretend it’s the olden days for everything. Let them cut off your limb naturally; no anesthetics – maybe just a shot of whiskey and a stick to bite on from a pesticide free tree.

Ok, I’m being snarky now. I know I’m probably pissing a lot of people off and I sound like a hypocrite because this sort of comes across like I’m judging the “natural” moms. I’m really not though; this rant is about all of the judgmental moms out there who try to make other moms feel bad about themselves. I couldn’t care less how everyone’s babies are born because it’s none of my business.

Motherhood is hard enough, so let’s just support each other. You might be thinking something in your head when you see another mom, but don’t say it out loud unless it’s kind/supportive/encouraging.

Rant over.

Xo,

Bethany

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Mitchell Family Holiday Photos 2017

Photo shoots are HARD when you have a four year old and a nineteen month old. With Porter, we were dealing with smile refusals and attitude problems. With Preston, we were dealing with just general crazy behavior that mostly included running away when we put him somewhere to stand or sit or even heaven forbid we hold him and he isn’t diving head first to the ground. I tried bribing with food, but it was ineffective.

Somehow our photographer managed to capture some moments that made it look like we have our *ish* together, so thanks for that Jacki Raney. Hopefully we can fool everyone that’s on our Christmas card list. And thank the Heavens above for Amazon Prime’s free two day shipping for giving me something to wear. My outfit is linked below and I really think every girl should buy these shoes.

Sam Edelman Leopard heels (on sale for $119 from $140 – kind of a splurge for me, but I’ve been obsessed with these forever and plan on wearing the heck out of them)

Plaid Shirt (only $15 with a looser boyfriend-ish fit)

Tulle Skirt (Under $30 and comes in every color you could ever want)

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How MomFriends Make or Break your #Momlife

Momfriend: A friend you make with the common bond of both being moms

The term “momfriend” didn’t enter my vocabulary until I had my first baby. Before that, I just had “friends” or “girlfriends.” Fast forward four years and my “momfriends” are just my friends, because the only friends I have left are moms (with the exception of a few).

“A good momfriend is a lifeline when you’re drowning in a sea of crying babies, unfolded laundry and cranky husbands.”

It wasn’t until I became a mom that I realized the crazy bond momfriends have. I literally feel like I could not live without my momfriends even though I know I technically could, but it would really, really suck. Because mommin’ ain’t easy.

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A good momfriend is a lifeline when you’re drowning in a sea of crying babies, unfolded laundry and cranky husbands. A good momfriend is there for you to vent to whenever you need it and it’s judgment free; sometimes it’s via text, sometimes it’s a phone call, sometimes it’s over Snapchat with a funny filter. If you need her, she’s there. A good momfriend is down for a night out and sometimes it’s at a moment’s notice because you’re losing your sh*t and need a break. A good momfriend loves your child almost like they are an extension of their own kin – they treat them with genuine care and understanding. At a BBQ with a bunch of people and your kid trips and hurts himself/herself? A good momfriend swoops in and plays the mom role if you’re not around. Did your child accomplish something? A good momfriend is genuinely proud and excited for him/her – and there’s zero passive aggressive comments made about how their child did it earlier and is so advanced, blah blah blah because a good momfriend would feel sick if she knew she made you feel anything other than happy and proud of your child. Is your child struggling at something? A good momfriend finds the silver lining and helps you to see it in a more positive light. She encourages, supports and loves and you give all of that right back to her. Making a medical decision for your child? A good momfriend never ever criticizes it because she knows those types of decisions can only be made by the mother/father. She tells you to trust your mom gut – and she definitely does not send you links from .org websites to argue her point that what you’re doing is harmful to your child.

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You know what’s sad? Finding good momfriends like this isn’t easy. If you’re new to this mom life, don’t be discouraged! You’ll find your mom tribe, but you may have to weed out the not so great momfriends, or learn to tune out their garbage. But once you find even just one true and genuine momfriend, the amount of enrichment you’ll get from that relationship is immeasurable. Yes, husbands and family are super important too; not trying to belittle those relationships. I just want to spotlight the female bond of motherhood because is unlike anything you’ll ever experience. So let’s all strive to be the very best momfriends to each other: whether you work outside the home or inside the home. Whether you’re “just a mom” (that phrase irks me) or your child spends their weekdays at daycare. Let’s do less of the snarky/passive aggressive comments. Let’s do less Facebook posts of articles that say our way of mothering is the better way. Whether you get an epidural, have a home birth, elective c-section, breast-feed, pump and bottle feed, formula feed or a combination of both, let’s all be good momfriends and give nothing but support, love and encouragement. If moms were all besties, we’d take over the world. So let’s make that our goal, shall we? 😉

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How Momfriends can make or break your #momlife - tips on how to be a good Momfriend

Treat Yo-Self this Mother’s Day with JORD

Giveaway Alert: see at the bottom of this post

Mother’s Day is around the corner, as you’re all well aware. While I typically do not expect any sort of Mother’s Day gift aside from a card that talks about what a fantastic mother I am (Ok, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also want a pretty bouquet), I was wanting to treat myself this year since being a mom of two has proven to be much more of a challenge than I anticipated – so much so, Ryan and I have both agreed that we are waiting A WHILE before we even consider trying for that third and final baby. Can anyone relate? I’ve been such a stress ball lately juggling life; I just want to be out of survival mode for a while!

You might remember me telling you all about my husband’s Valentine’s Day present, the JORD Wood Watch. I never knew about these chic watches until then and I have honestly sort of fallen in love with the brand, which is why I was so excited when they reached out and wanted to team up with me again. I remember when I got Ryan’s watch, I peeked over at their women’s shop and was a little jealous he was getting the watch and not me. I know, such a nice wife haha. But in all seriousness, I couldn’t be more excited to have one of my own. I got the CORA Series in Koa and Rose Gold and I’m totally obsessed – it’s such a unique watch and it goes with so many outfits.IMG_2774

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I love that it’s a little more low key than my gold watches that you always see people wearing. It’s fun to style it with cute bracelets too – you really can dress it up or down depending on your outfit. They have endless options as far as wood and face colors go too – check out their entire women’s watch line here.

Another thing I should mention is its packaging – it is LEGIT. It arrives in this gorgeous wood box with its own little burlap pillow. It’s the kind of packaging that just adds that extra level of chicness and that nice presentation just makes me happy.

JORD has also been kind enough to sponsor a giveaway in case you’re still looking to treat yourself to a Mother’s Day gift, or if you want to drop a hint to your hubby that you’d really like one of these cool watches. A lucky reader will receive a $100 credit to use towards the purchase of a JORD watch, but everyone will win $25 to JORD just for entering!

Enter the giveaway here: www.jordwatches.com/g/houseofmitchells

This post was sponsored by JORD Wood Watches, but as always, all opinions are my own.


Luxury Wooden Watch

Super Cute Shirt Under 15 Dollars

I stumbled upon the cutest shirt yesterday while shopping at H&M and I just had to share.  It’s so convenient being able to go to ONE STORE and buy stuff for my boys and for me. Plus, everything is so reasonably priced!

I’ve been known to find a top and buy it in every color, so I stayed true to form and did that yesterday with this shirt (I only bought three though). I’m rarely able to shop for myself sans kids and I rarely find a top that is all encompassing in cuteness, cost effectiveness and versatility. Dress it down like I have here with leggings and sandals on those #momlife days with school drop offs, errands, sports events, etc. Or, dress it up for a night out with a cute pair of distressed black denim jeans (tuck the front) with some cute wedges. I’m wearing a Kendra Scott Rayne necklace with my mom outfit because sometimes wearing that and putting on some bright lipstick is all I need to tackle my Momday (besides coffee).

I recently donated a CRAP TON of clothes to the Goodwill, so my closet is pretty empty and I have to admit I’m kind of loving the simplicity of getting dressed in the morning, so I love a versatile blouse that can be worn in various settings. Capsule wardrobes still give me anxiety, but I’m sort of starting to see the appeal.

Sorry for the photo quality. I’m a stay at home mom and my three year old can’t quite take pictures yet so I resort to mirror selfies in the office because my room is covered in mounds of clean laundry waiting to be folded. I’m actually avoiding it right now as I write this blog post.

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Here’s a direct link to buy it; I also got these two below. For some reason the red color isn’t available online! HOWEVER I noticed a striped one online that I didn’t see in store. Gonna need to get that one too haha.

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Hope you all think this top is cute too and I’m not totally losing it!

xo,

Bethany

 

**This post is not sponsored; I just really like H&M and this top!**

How I got my Baby to Take Naps

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I cannot believe I went through one full kid without knowing about these magical inserts that make babies sleep. I’m legitimately amazed at how it has transformed my afternoons. A couple of weeks ago, Preston would NOT take two naps and honestly, I was lucky to even get one (besides the lame 30 minute cat or car naps all moms just love).

Fast-forward to today and he’s a napping pro and it really did change as soon as this bad boy arrived; the DockATot Grand. You might be rolling your eyes at the fact that this is clearly a sponsored post, but guys I swear I will not put a product on my blog without really believing it’s cool or worth your while.

As soon as we put this thing in his crib, he instantly started napping two times a day – and he puts himself to sleep with ease. I’m not saying this is guaranteed to happen with ALL babies, but I do know two other mama’s who have had similar experiences.

I think there’s something about them feeling a little more secure while laying inside a DockATot. Cribs can seem a little large for babies; even a 12 month old like Preston. Also, crib mattresses are kinda hard (I’ve always thought that) and I think the DockATot provides Preston some comfort and a snuggle-factor that a crib mattress and sheet cannot.

If your baby already sleeps great, how nice for you. If you’re struggling to get your baby to nap (or even sleep through the night), I highly recommend you giving this product a try! It totally worked for us!

Xo,

Bethany

 

 

Hey Diddle Diddle 1st Birthday

First birthdays have always been a big deal, but millennial moms have taken it to a whole new level if you ask our Baby Boomer parents. What can I say? That’s just how we roll…

Preston’s first birthday was definitely not as detail oriented as his big brother’s was because it’s just harder to plan parties with two kids in tow (second child syndrome) and also, Preston had Croup just one week earlier so we were a little distracted.

Still, I wanted Preston to have a special first birthday.

I decided on a Hey Diddle Diddle theme because Preston gets particularly excited whenever he hears that nursery rhyme. It’s pretty adorable :).

I didn’t find a ton of Hey Diddle Diddle party ideas on Pinterest that I liked, so I sort of just threw this together. I picked some colors and ran with it — I threw in some Hey Diddle Diddle references here and there, but it was definitely understated because I just couldn’t spend the kind of time on this that I would have liked. I kept the menu easy by having a sandwich bar. The smash cake and cupcakes were made by my favorite Sacramento bakery, Freeport Bakery. Here are some pics for inspo in case you ever want to use this party theme!

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